Humorous Wedding Speech from the Father of the Bride -- Wedding Toasts

Humorous Wedding terminology from the Father of the Bride Well, good good afternoon everyone, for those of you that don?t know me my name is Lee and I?m Janie?s dad, and in keeping with tradition, it is my honor and privilege to deliver the ?Father of the Bride Speech?. Having to make this speech is one of the few opportunities in a married man?s life when he is allowed to do all of the talking...and I delineate to make the most of it. Now, giving a speech can be a little stressful so I will put into normal what I preach, that is...always remember the ABC to the XYZ of public speaking. ABC..Always Be Confident, ?XYZ..Xamine Your Zipper. (check zipper). It won?t be a long speech on account of my throat?.no, it?s not sore, it?s just that Janet threatened to cut it if I go on too longSo I?ll start...Distinguished guests, those of dubious distinction and those of perfectly no distinction whatsoever, family, relatives, friends, relatives of friends, friends of friends, hotel staff, fr eeloaders and hangers-on, on behalf of Janet and myself, I extend a warm welcome to Janie and Martin?s wedding celebration reception. You know, delivering the ?Father of the Bride? speech feels a spell like a sheikh walking into his hargonm for the first time...you know what to do, but you don?t know whither to start. I will start til now by taking this opportunity to thank especially Janet for not only being chief worrier and organise... ... we marry. It is very obvious that they have found in one another a perfect match their happiness shines like a beacon. Janie and Martin, there is no challenge in a marriage that cannot be overcome by the following three, three word sentences I was wrong. You were right. I love you.So, approaching the toast, ladies and gentlemen, please stand and make sure your glasses are fully charged?mine is being charged to Barclaycard?Janie and Martin?Here?s to the past for all that it taught youHere?s to the present for all that you shareAnd here?s to t he future for all that you can look forward togetherLadies & gentlemen please raise your glasses. The toast is?Janie & Martin, Bride and Groom